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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 02-24-2004, 10:27 PM
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Things you never say to a cop.

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyeslook glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

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  #2 (permalink)  
Old 02-24-2004, 11:46 PM
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Old 02-25-2004, 01:04 AM
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To a female cop...HEY BABY I've been a BAAAD boy, I need strip search!

There is this fine blond girl cop I would say that to.
she won't pull any guys over, at least not that I've seen.
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Old 02-25-2004, 06:45 AM
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Good evening officer...oh...my license...Yes, it's right here in my underwear...Should I get it or do you just want to reach in and.......................
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Old 02-25-2004, 08:23 AM
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But Occifer i'm not as think as you drunk I am
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Old 02-25-2004, 08:28 AM
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"AAAAhhhhh. Sorry sir, but there seems to be a midget on your shoulder holding two big mesh grilles. He's trying to drill a hole into your arm. Oh my god!! NNNnnoooooooo get him off, he's evil, aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh."

"Nevermind, it's just a mosquito. My license and what?"



MoocH
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Old 02-25-2004, 08:30 AM
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Old 02-25-2004, 11:47 AM
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I keep rolls of pennys in my car, when the police chase me I crack them open and heave them out the window . That really gets them pissed.
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Old 02-25-2004, 12:35 PM
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Yes I am aware this is a 100 Km/h zone but I wasnt planning on being out that long.

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Old 02-25-2004, 01:14 PM
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"Ok I'll get in, but can I play with the lights? Wooo wooooooo woooooo reeeeeeeaaaaarrrrrrrrrr yay."


MoocH
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Old 02-25-2004, 01:25 PM
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Last edited by Gen3_with_455; 07-19-2004 at 11:13 AM.
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Old 02-25-2004, 03:43 PM
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Honest ta` god ossifer, I hadn`t drop a drank.

Lemme git this straight, ya want me to stand on one laig, lean muh haid back with muh I`s closed? H*ll I cain`t even do dat sober!

Yeah Ossifer I been drinkin beer
How many did ya have?
Two
Just Two Beers?
Pitchers.
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Old 02-25-2004, 04:55 PM
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i swear to drunk im not god
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Old 02-25-2004, 06:49 PM
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No ossifer there is no blood in my alchohol system.
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Old 02-25-2004, 07:23 PM
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After a 2 hour chase. "Man I didn't even see you guys back there, I had the stereo turned up so loud I couldn't hear the sirens."
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