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Old 07-10-2004, 05:09 AM
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Things you'd like to hear

Subject: SCREW WITH US





WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR GEORGE W. BUSH OR JOHN
KERRY GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH : (or just someone with cahones?!)

My Fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since
congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission
in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now
to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is
short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are
some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
worlds nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing
copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we
will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face

of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or
maybe China.

To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal
now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to
Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables,
too. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are
retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded
and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You
creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets
tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned
over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Mexico is also on List 2. President
Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude
adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions
sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security.
So start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty ---
starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.
Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be saying, "darn
tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on
the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to
eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup
Soccer from America.
To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and
we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.

God bless America.
Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in
English, thank a soldier.

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  #2 (permalink)  
Old 07-10-2004, 09:04 AM
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I think you are on to something.

Kevin45 for president!
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Old 07-10-2004, 10:25 AM
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WOW! Wouldn't that be a wakeup call!
O.k. France, the balls in your court. Put'em on the table. Let's see what you got for cahonies.
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Old 07-10-2004, 10:28 AM
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Quote:
O.k. France, the balls in your court
The only balls in France belong to tourists. Dan
__________________
"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not." - Mark Twain
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Old 07-10-2004, 10:58 AM
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i think you are absolutly right. if any one messes with you nuke em all. i like every thing exept the world cup soccer thing other than that, i'm all for it
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Old 07-10-2004, 11:42 AM
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That plan isn't any good.
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Old 07-10-2004, 12:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ghetto Jet
That plan isn't any good.
Huh??
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Old 07-10-2004, 12:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ghetto Jet
That plan isn't any good.
That's what you've been taught to believe. The best period of economic growth and prosperity in this country's history came before our funding of international pity parties.

It's in the history books, read them.

Larry
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Old 07-10-2004, 12:26 PM
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schnitz, I meant there are too many flaws in the "speech"

coldknock I don't mean that ever single idea there is terrible but as a whole it doesn't deserve any praise.

Last edited by Ghetto Jet; 07-10-2004 at 12:32 PM.
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Old 07-10-2004, 12:53 PM
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THAT'S part of the problem.

people criticize anything, pick it to pieces. what do YOU suggest?
what is your answer to fixing things?

personally, i'm all for it. where do i sign up?

ohh, you didn't appreciate the part about world cup did you?

but seriously, what do YOU suggest?
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Old 07-10-2004, 01:01 PM
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I'm with crash KEVIN 45 For President!
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Old 07-10-2004, 01:08 PM
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Hmm something tells me it would take a little longer than a few minutes to whip up a plan to solve all our problems. You suggest I should agree with it only because I don't have a plan of my own? Whatever my plan would be, removing our involvement with all countries that did not help us fight Iraq would not be apart of it, how would that help us? American business's would suffer immensely from the loss of revenue generated by those countries, directly affecting our quality of life. Furthermore you can't expect every country to help, you shouldn't cause them suffering only because of it, some of the countries that would be on "list 2" are not able to provide any assistance.

I really like the plan to stop terrorism, we will tell them "Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth." Didn't we tell Osama that almost 3 years ago?
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Old 07-10-2004, 02:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ghetto Jet
Hmm something tells me it would take a little longer than a few minutes to whip up a plan to solve all our problems.
Yep, you're right dude. This would just be the beginning.

Quote:
You suggest I should agree with it only because I don't have a plan of my own? Whatever my plan would be, removing our involvement with all countries that did not help us fight Iraq would not be apart of it, how would that help us?
You should not agree with anything that you see as flawed, offer suggestions to fix the perceived flaws. It would support the message that was sent a few years ago that if you aren't with us, you're against us. On the subject of terrorism anyway.

Quote:
American business's would suffer immensely from the loss of revenue generated by those countries, directly affecting our quality of life.
Only those businesses that rely on foreign labor for production of the goods they market would be directly affected. That would be temporary because of the number of people here desperately seeking these types of jobs. Bringing these jobs home would increase our quality of life.

Quote:
Furthermore you can't expect every country to help, you shouldn't cause them suffering only because of it, some of the countries that would be on "list 2" are not able to provide any assistance.
No but if they weren't able to help and had no vested interest they could've just shut up minded their own business.

Quote:
I really like the plan to stop terrorism, we will tell them "Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth." Didn't we tell Osama that almost 3 years ago?
Nope, we vowed to hunt him down. Had we started eliminating everyone we came into contact with, that was a friend or relative, we could have found him. No more places to hide for Osama. But of course we'd be big bad mean bullies for doing it, we didn't, so he got away. For now. Anybody heard from him lately?

Larry
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Old 07-10-2004, 03:06 PM
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Sounds real interesting

Quote:
Originally posted by coldknock
... Had we started eliminating everyone we came into contact with, that was a friend or relative, we could have found him. ..

Larry
I'm pretty sure it was someone in my neighborhood or that knew me that stole the Mustang.

I guess I should start torching everybody on the list huh?

If I did them all I'd be bound to get the guilty party.
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Old 07-10-2004, 03:39 PM
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I suppose my statement could be taken that way.

I don't think we should have done that and I'm glad we didn't. Bombing the piss out of Afghanistan was close though.

Larry
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