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Old 10-21-2007, 01:13 AM
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at what age is a little girl old enough to spank with a belt?

i got it but don't know when it started. i hate my grand daughter. she never does what you tell her to do. i am forced to endure her spending the night over and she never wants to go to bed before 11PM and sometimes midnight. i want her in bed by 8 but can handle 9. this i actually my step dot's daught. i am dying to put a strap across her *** but she is only FOUR YEARS OLD! somebody tell me 5 is good to go!!
signed, heartless old fart.

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Old 10-21-2007, 01:32 AM
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Spank with a belt

105 years old!!!
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Old 10-21-2007, 01:57 AM
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I won't admit I watched it, but Nanny 911 might have some good advice...

I never watch Oprah either.
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Old 10-21-2007, 02:42 AM
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After 8 p.m. it's ok to tie them up and throw them in the closet.
Kids understand mo better when you can outhink them, positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement. And Good Lord, don't hate the kid, whip her moms' a** first.
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Old 10-21-2007, 07:49 AM
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Your house your rules. If the daughter won't help you endforce the bed time, then I say grand daughter (step or otherwise) is not welcome to spend the night. You didn't mention your wife's position on this matter, so I will leave her out of the mix

I don't know what your step-daughter's finances are like, but maybe the days of a free baby sitter need to come to an end.
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Old 10-21-2007, 10:48 AM
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NOOOOOOOOO don't EVER EVER use a WEAPON on a child, girl or boy. A spank on the bare butt with your hand is is plenty. And I don't mean a arm swinging whollup I mean a LIGHT spank. My heart aches just thinking about hitting a four year old little girl with a belt, that is WAY WAY out of line.

The parent is the one who deserves the belting.

All I know is this, my kids they are minature versions of ME and my wife. If they aren't right now, they will be. Show me a child who gets whipped into submission and is a "quiet little boy" I'll show you an adult with mental issues and likely beats his child. OR show me a child who can't be beat into submission. You know the kind, "he needs a good one" but heck his parents are harder than hell on him, you would think he would be good. No, his parents are hard as hell on him about EVERYTHING, they don't know which hill to die on. So the kid gets spanked and yelled at about everything. He doesn't know which end is up. There is an adult who WILL do the exact same thing to his kids, and the cycle will continue generation after generation.

No, I am sorry, I spanked my kids, I WAS WRONG. I have seen way too many people who don't spank who have wonderful behaving kids who grew up into wonderful adults. It is WAY more than the lack of spanking, it is how these parents handle every day and every issue. Honestly, I don't know how, all I know is I wish I did. I wish I was one of these parents who never raise their voice and never spanked.

You have a precious little girl there that needs guidance not a BEATING with a WEAPON!

Brian
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Old 10-21-2007, 01:49 PM
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I guess I have all those mental deficiencies, but you knew that.

Actually, Bullheimer, a big serving spoon works way better than a belt....You don't have to swing it hard at all to make the little fanny sting like the devil. I learned that one from my 6th grade principal.

I have a WAY better relationship with the 2 kids that I spanked than the one I didn't. Those 2 are now productive members of society.

The one I didn't spank when she needed it is now so defiant and belligerant and lazy that my wife and I are considering sending her to boot camp. Yeah it will cost a fortune, but maybe it'll make a change in her attitude.


As soon as they are old enough to defy you openly and are aware that they are being defiant that they is when the spankings should commence.


Every time I got my *** beat with a belt when I was a kid I deserved it.

Later, mikey
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Old 10-21-2007, 03:21 PM
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I can't believe anyone would ask such a question, there is something far wrong when a 4 year old child can out-think an adult to the point where the only answer the adult can think of is violence
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Old 10-21-2007, 04:07 PM
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No one deserves a beating here.................especially the child. Kids today seem to be brought up different than in our generation. Our kid's kids seem to have an attitude and I think that it is our kids fault...............That generation.......todays 30-45 year old parents where taught somewhere....not by us, but somewhere, that the kids have all the rights and the parents have none............then they wonder why their kids run roughshod over them. They must have learned that in school, because we didn't teach it to them.

As for beatings....I only remember my dad hitting me once...............and I deserved that .................I loved my parents, but always had this little fear in the back of my mind. It was there, not through beating.....but maybe a certain little bit of intimidation.........I don't know. Maybe, we didn't get the intimidation factor in with our kids like our parents did................can't explain it...............Maybe, it was the "Peace, Love and Rock & Roll" bullcrap of the 60s.....................
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Old 10-21-2007, 04:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by powerrodsmike

Every time I got my *** beat with a belt when I was a kid I deserved it.

Later, mikey
I have to tell you Mikey, not in my case. I can VIVIDLY remember a number of those beatings and my dad was WAY out of line. He should have went out in the garage and punched the bag to get out HIS built up frustration about something at work or my mom or something instead of beating on me!

Brian
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Old 10-21-2007, 04:24 PM
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I have never had a spanking when growing up. I sure as hell have been yelled at and that did the trick. It sounds like the kids parents don't have a firm grasp on parenting yet. Kids need habit, like going to sleep early and punishment should never go above giving them a timeout and sending them to the corner.

If you have patience, the childs behavior will go away.

When they do something bad, send them to the corner and tell them why. If they move away, send them back... and again and again and again...

As seen on SuperNanny, this could take hours, but at the end of the tunnel the kid gives up and usually appologizes for their behavior and beg to be let out of the corner. A non-violent solution and time to spent well afterwards when they actually start listening.

Don't forget to reward for good behavior.

This might work on the parents as well.
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Old 10-21-2007, 05:40 PM
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It is clear to me that some kids respond better to the P.C. kind of stuff that they show on TV. Mine never did.

I do envy people who can get through to their young children by merely talking to them.

I remember sending my daughter to a Montessori school. She had been kicked out of about 5 or 6 other reputable, state licensed and highly recommended daycare centers.
I remember telling the director that she was a handfull and I made every effort to give a complete history...Well that director said that no child was unable to respond to the time tested methods of Mme Montessori.....

Sarah lasted 2 weeks there , the director asked us to take our business elsewhere. She felt so sorry for us that they refunded all of our deposit and tuition.

Don't think for 1 second that we didn't try all of the non violent, positive guidance methods that we were taught in our parenting classes and read in our child guidance books and magazine articles we read..

In the end, it is how well your kid will listen to reason. Mine were mostly unable to respond to time outs, heart to heart talks, essay writing, reward trips to great america, toys, pony rides, ice cream and candy, chucky cheese and all of that.

My oldest daughter didn't stop having tantrums at the first sign she wasn't getting her way until she was 12 years old. Some days she would spend half the day with her nose in the corner. Add to that the stealing and lying that she did and it was obvious that she needed a bit more.

You can send your kid back ,and back and back and back until doomsday and get no effect after a few years of that BS you will smack them on the backside and get a positive result and wonder why you didn't do it sooner.

I won't win father of the year, but the 2 kids that did get spanked will do anything for us, while our youngest refuses to do anything without arguing and cussing and generally being self destructive and angry at the world.


I certainly won't say that a father taking out his frustrations on the kid is the same as well defined and evenly applied discipline, but each kid is different. I Feel for you Brian, my dad was a Marine, and I know that it was a ***** getting walloped by him when I deserved it. I can't imagine how it feels to get whipped without doing anything to deserve it.
I never spanked my kids when I was having a bad day.


My kids always had numerous chances to avoid a spanking, and they always knew when they went so far over the line that they were going to get one.


Maybe Bullheimer needs to beat the adult stepdaughter some in front of the 4 year old. That might put some fear in to the little hellion.

Later, mikey
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Old 10-22-2007, 11:30 AM
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i'm with mikey.

give her a good circle beatin' next time she acts up.

i qualify this by the fact that i raised four stepchildren with corporal punishment as a deterrent of the last resort. all four are productive members of society, out on their own, working for a living, one is in college, two are u.s. marines. about to be a grandfather for the second time, and the daughter (whose married to the father of her kids who does provide for them) told me the other day "thanks for being my dad. etc etc." made me proud. i did do something right. my father in law, who once told me i was sick and needed medication,(well duh! i can see the prozac and xanax are working well for you...) never layed a hand on his kids, has a 31 y/o son still at home, on dope. i'll take my way.

agree that her mom needs a swift kick in the arse. and i think Bull is just the guy to give it to her.
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Old 10-22-2007, 12:06 PM
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I guess with 4 one of them needed some less then gentle persuasion. The three girls were relatively good kids that only needed time outs or a single swat. Now, my son. That was another story. He got a regular fanny warming - and sometimes, if I really think back, occasionally it was on just general principles on what we thought he was thinking about. The three girls - 1 with a masters degree, one with a 4 year bachelors in three years, the other with a 4 year bachelors degree and teaching cert. And son, two 2 year degrees and a 4 year - and is a vice president of Best Foods - Hellman's, etc and is well up there in salary - much more so then the girls. So, what I'm trying to say, an occasional butt swat wont hurt. Beating them with a belt, stick, or hair brush(my butt still recalls that feeling) will not do the job and might create major problems later. In the situation with Bullheimer, a 4 year old isn't the problem, it's her mother(parents?) and she needs some big time help.

Now, if you have a kinky mind, 21 or so........

Dave
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Old 10-22-2007, 03:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MARTINSR
I have to tell you Mikey, not in my case. I can VIVIDLY remember a number of those beatings and my dad was WAY out of line. He should have went out in the garage and punched the bag to get out HIS built up frustration about something at work or my mom or something instead of beating on me!

Brian
I agree with you Brian (even though I think mike makes good points too). And keep in mind this opinion/agreement comes from a guy who doesn't have kids. I would say, however, that sometimes objective opinions are helpful too. Here's mine: I've heard from a few parents a bit of a "middle ground" when it comes to spanking. They don't use belts and they don't threaten with spankings, and they only use it when a rapid result is needed.

I think spanking a kid just because they're frustrating you or making you angry is wrong. We're supposed to be the adults and should be above getting reactive or "pissed off" at a four year old kid. Kids are going to be kids, they're going to do stuff they're not supposed to, say things out of place and sometimes even put themselves in danger. If you have to spank a kid it shouldn't be to let the kid know how "pissed" they made you, and there should be no feeling of satisfaction from doing it, no "see, that's what you get!"

My parents both spanked, with various instruments. I don't think it hurt my relationship with them as an adult, but it certainly did as a child. You have a greater tendency to lie and cover things up when your parents are irrational about punishment.

Some people just communicate with kids better than others. I was listening to a radio show about something related to this and heard somebody say "any two people male and female can make be parents; that doesn't mean they should!" We've all seen people in public treating their kids like dirt. Some folks' sole purpose in life is to have kids so they do, but they end up being horrible parents.

Last, I think a lot of parents assume that because they're bigger, older and are the parents of a child that every decision they make is right, and every time the child argues with them the child is inherently wrong because he/she is a subordinate of sorts. I think a lot of relationships between parents and children could probably be polished by the parent laying down his/her stubborn pride and admitting that "hey, I shouldn't have yelled at you" or "you're right, you did all your homework you should be allowed to have a friend over" etc.

K
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