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Old 10-22-2007, 02:26 PM
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Originally Posted by MARTINSR
I have to tell you Mikey, not in my case. I can VIVIDLY remember a number of those beatings and my dad was WAY out of line. He should have went out in the garage and punched the bag to get out HIS built up frustration about something at work or my mom or something instead of beating on me!

I agree with you Brian (even though I think mike makes good points too). And keep in mind this opinion/agreement comes from a guy who doesn't have kids. I would say, however, that sometimes objective opinions are helpful too. Here's mine: I've heard from a few parents a bit of a "middle ground" when it comes to spanking. They don't use belts and they don't threaten with spankings, and they only use it when a rapid result is needed.

I think spanking a kid just because they're frustrating you or making you angry is wrong. We're supposed to be the adults and should be above getting reactive or "pissed off" at a four year old kid. Kids are going to be kids, they're going to do stuff they're not supposed to, say things out of place and sometimes even put themselves in danger. If you have to spank a kid it shouldn't be to let the kid know how "pissed" they made you, and there should be no feeling of satisfaction from doing it, no "see, that's what you get!"

My parents both spanked, with various instruments. I don't think it hurt my relationship with them as an adult, but it certainly did as a child. You have a greater tendency to lie and cover things up when your parents are irrational about punishment.

Some people just communicate with kids better than others. I was listening to a radio show about something related to this and heard somebody say "any two people male and female can make be parents; that doesn't mean they should!" We've all seen people in public treating their kids like dirt. Some folks' sole purpose in life is to have kids so they do, but they end up being horrible parents.

Last, I think a lot of parents assume that because they're bigger, older and are the parents of a child that every decision they make is right, and every time the child argues with them the child is inherently wrong because he/she is a subordinate of sorts. I think a lot of relationships between parents and children could probably be polished by the parent laying down his/her stubborn pride and admitting that "hey, I shouldn't have yelled at you" or "you're right, you did all your homework you should be allowed to have a friend over" etc.