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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 03-13-2004, 08:29 PM
Kevin45's Avatar
Just one of the guys
 

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What the dating ads say....

And what they really mean....

ADS FROM WOMEN

40-ish.................. 48
Adventurer.............. Has had more partners than you ever will
Athletic................ Flat-chested
Average looking......... Ugly
Beautiful............... Pathological liar
Contagious Smile........ Bring your penicillin
Educated................ College dropout
Emotionally Secure...... Medicated
Feminist................ Fat; ball buster
Free spirit............. Substance user
Friendship first........ Trying to live down reputation as slut
Fun..................... Annoying
Gentle.................. Comatose
Good Listener........... Borderline Autistic
New-Age................. All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned........... Lights out, missionary position only
Open-minded............. Desperate
Outgoing................ Loud
Passionate.............. Loud
Poet.................... Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional............ Real Witch
Redhead................. Shops the Clairol section
Reubenesque............. Grossly Fat
Romantic................ Looks better by candle light
Voluptuous.............. Very Fat
Weight proportional to height..................Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate.......... One step away from stalking
Widow................... Nagged first husband to death
Young at heart.......... Toothless crone
-------------------------------------------------------------------

THE MALE SIDE OF THE LIST

40-ish.................. 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic................ Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
Average looking......... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose & back
Educated................ Will always treat you like an idiot
Free Spirit............. Sleeps with your sister
Friendship first........ As long as friendship involves nudity
Fun..................... Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking............ Arrogant
Honest.................. Pathological Liar
Huggable................ Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Like to cuddle.......... Insecure, overly dependent
Mature.................. Until you get to know him
Open-minded............. Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not
interested
Physically fit.......... I spend a lot of time in front of the mirror
admiring myself
Poet.................... Has written on a bathroom stall
Spiritual............... Once went to church with his grandmother on Easter
Sunday
Stable.................. Occasional stalker, but never arrested
Thoughtful.............. Says "Please" when demanding a beer

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  #2 (permalink)  
Old 03-13-2004, 09:23 PM
FASTCHEVY's Avatar
RatRod B4 RatRods were Cool
 
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Dude! thats funny!

Don't EVER talk to a chick over the computer! I did, and she was
insecure, chubby(FAT) has issues, (prob why she is fat) and was a
big hypocrite.
She liked working on old cars, but she wanted to get her claws
in me so I had to nip it in the bud.
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Old 03-13-2004, 09:46 PM
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kitkar
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Old 03-13-2004, 09:53 PM
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you talkin to me?
 
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well if that is true that would make me
athletic
educated
a free spirit
likes to cuddle
mature
open minded
and spiritual.
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  #5 (permalink)  
Old 03-14-2004, 09:54 AM
Ghetto Jet's Avatar
current hot rod: CTS-V
 

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haha, nice one Kevin. That list is definitely getting printed out and shown to some of my friends.


Mike
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Old 03-14-2004, 10:00 AM
crazy larry's Avatar
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lol

highly stable!
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Old 03-15-2004, 11:28 AM
Malibucdl's Avatar
Laissez les bons temps rouler
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by FASTCHEVY
Dude! thats funny!

Don't EVER talk to a chick over the computer! I did, and she was
insecure, chubby(FAT) has issues, (prob why she is fat) and was a
big hypocrite.
She liked working on old cars, but she wanted to get her claws
in me so I had to nip it in the bud.

I can second this statement. I am trying to get rid of one of these right now. She found me about 2 months ago, and I haven't been able to get rid of her yet. She fits FASTCHEVY's description to the tee. When I asked for a picture of her I got several, but lets just say not one of them was of her face or a full body shot, that and she must be poor, cause she can't afford clothes. DELETE!!!

Chris
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