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03-13-2004, 08:29 PM
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What the dating ads say....
And what they really mean....
ADS FROM WOMEN 40-ish.................. 48 Adventurer.............. Has had more partners than you ever will Athletic................ Flat-chested Average looking......... Ugly Beautiful............... Pathological liar Contagious Smile........ Bring your penicillin Educated................ College dropout Emotionally Secure...... Medicated Feminist................ Fat; ball buster Free spirit............. Substance user Friendship first........ Trying to live down reputation as slut Fun..................... Annoying Gentle.................. Comatose Good Listener........... Borderline Autistic New-Age................. All body hair, all the time Old-fashioned........... Lights out, missionary position only Open-minded............. Desperate Outgoing................ Loud Passionate.............. Loud Poet.................... Depressive Schizophrenic Professional............ Real Witch Redhead................. Shops the Clairol section Reubenesque............. Grossly Fat Romantic................ Looks better by candle light Voluptuous.............. Very Fat Weight proportional to height..................Hugely Fat Wants Soulmate.......... One step away from stalking Widow................... Nagged first husband to death Young at heart.......... Toothless crone ------------------------------------------------------------------- THE MALE SIDE OF THE LIST 40-ish.................. 52 and looking for 25-yr-old Athletic................ Sits on the couch and watches ESPN Average looking......... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose & back Educated................ Will always treat you like an idiot Free Spirit............. Sleeps with your sister Friendship first........ As long as friendship involves nudity Fun..................... Good with a remote and a six pack Good looking............ Arrogant Honest.................. Pathological Liar Huggable................ Overweight, more body hair than a bear Like to cuddle.......... Insecure, overly dependent Mature.................. Until you get to know him Open-minded............. Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested Physically fit.......... I spend a lot of time in front of the mirror admiring myself Poet.................... Has written on a bathroom stall Spiritual............... Once went to church with his grandmother on Easter Sunday Stable.................. Occasional stalker, but never arrested Thoughtful.............. Says "Please" when demanding a beer 
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03-13-2004, 09:23 PM
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Dude! thats funny!
 Don't EVER talk to a chick over the computer! I did, and she was insecure, chubby(FAT) has issues, (prob why she is fat) and was a big hypocrite. She liked working on old cars, but she wanted to get her claws in me  so I had to nip it in the bud.
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03-13-2004, 09:46 PM
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03-13-2004, 09:53 PM
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well if that is true that would make me
athletic educated a free spirit likes to cuddle mature open minded and spiritual.
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03-14-2004, 09:54 AM
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haha, nice one Kevin. That list is definitely getting printed out and shown to some of my friends.
Mike
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03-14-2004, 10:00 AM
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lol
highly stable!
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03-15-2004, 11:28 AM
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Quote:
I can second this statement. I am trying to get rid of one of these right now. She found me about 2 months ago, and I haven't been able to get rid of her yet. She fits FASTCHEVY's description to the tee. When I asked for a picture of her I got several, but lets just say not one of them was of her face or a full body shot, that and she must be poor, cause she can't afford clothes. DELETE!!!  Chris
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