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Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.

Patient: Well, you might as well give me the bad news first.

Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.

Patient: 24 hours! That's terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?

Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
 

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:thumbup: Great, try this,



SECOND OPINION

After suffering from terrible headaches for years, Joe finally goes to the doctor.

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration, you have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... a new suit".

He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see...size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit.... it fits perfectly!

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, “how about a new shirt?"

Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16½ neck."

Joe was surprised. "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years". Joe tried on the shirt and it fits perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"



Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure." The salesman said, "Let's see size 36."

Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you!! I've been wearing a size 34 for years



The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34! A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache!"







New Suit: $400

New Shirt: $36

New Underwear: $6

Second Opinion: PRICELESS :thumbup:
 

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A guy tells the doctor "I can't stop singing "The green,green grass of home." The doctor says "That sounds like Tom Jones Disease." The guy asks" Is that normal?" The Doc says "It's not unusual." BADABING :thumbup:
 
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